“To whom will you compare me?
Who is my equal?” asks the Holy One. Look up into the heavens.
Who created all the stars?
He brings them out like an army, one after another,
calling each by its name.
Because of his great power and incomparable strength,
not a single one is missing." (Isaiah 40:25, 26 NLT)
Our challenge was to ask ourselves:
"How do I see God and why? How can I see Him for who is truly is?"
The phrase that has stuck out to me in this passage is "not a single one is missing." In our adoption journey, we have found ourselves waiting an inordinately long time to just be matched with a child. Often with Haitian adoptions, families begin the process with a child who has previously been identified...i.e. someone the family met on a mission trip...or the family is matched with a child within the first 60 days of submitting paperwork to their orphanage in Haiti.
We have been waiting for 8 months now...just to know the face of the child we will one day bring home. Once we know our child, we still have another 12-18 months of waiting. Needless to say, we have begun this journey of waiting with a lot of waiting. At times, it feels as though we aren't even adopting. We are at a standstill. Waiting.
We know why we are waiting. There is not a child at our orphanage that meets our age/gender request who is not part of a sibling set. We are adopting only one child, and the orphanage doesn't separate sibling sets...nor would we ever want them to.
So, amidst the waiting, trying to encourage our bio kids in the wait and pleading to the Father to identify our child...asking why, when, who...my focus has been on the face of our unknown child, feeling that our child is missing. Because of my focus on identification and absence, I believe I have forgotten something...not that God is in control...I'm confident of that...not that God's plan isn't perfect...I'm confident of that as well. What I have forgotten, or neglected to acknowledge, is that GOD KNOWS THE FACE OF OUR CHILD...for Him...NOT A SINGLE ONE IS MISSING.
I've been remiss to believe that God has a plan, that He is in control and that His timing is perfect while not also believing that our child IS NOT missing. Our child, our children, like the stars of the Heavens have been placed exactly where they need to be, and God knows each one of them by name! None of us is missing! We are FOUND because we are known and loved by Him.
Should it matter that I do not know the face of our fifth child, that I do not know her name, her age or even where she is if God knows? Where is my faith if I do not trust in the whole picture of God's providence? The battle between flesh and spirit is an ongoing, second-by-second struggle for me. The reality of that struggle has come blazing through this waiting experience.
How do I see God? Do I see Him for who He truly is? He is the God of the universe. If He sets the stars in the Heavens according to His plan, how much more will He not be equipped to place a child in a home? He knows the names of the stars. He knows the name of our child. He is not lacking. When I am weak, He is strong.
The challenge before me, before our family, is to pray less about God identifying our child to us...He knows we are ready...and to pray more for our child, for our children...all 5 of them. God knows each one. He never forgets.
My precious Haitian child is known by the God of all grace and goodness....never alone...always known...NEVER, EVER missing. This child has a place in my heart forever. Our family of 6 became a family of 7 the moment God turned our hearts to adopt.
Of course our prayer is for God to lead our 5th child home, but, in the waiting, I must never forget that NOT ONE of my children is missing...NOT ONE.
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