Not One of Them is Missing

This week at the Bible study I attend, we looked at Isaiah 40:25-26:

“To whom will you compare me?
Who is my equal?” asks the Holy One. Look up into the heavens.
Who created all the stars?
He brings them out like an army, one after another,
calling each by its name.
Because of his great power and incomparable strength,
not a single one is missing." (Isaiah 40:25, 26 NLT)

Our challenge was to ask ourselves:

"How do I see God and why? How can I see Him for who is truly is?"

The phrase that has stuck out to me in this passage is "not a single one is missing." In our adoption journey, we have found ourselves waiting an inordinately long time to just be matched with a child. Often with Haitian adoptions, families begin the process with a child who has previously been identified...i.e. someone the family met on a mission trip...or the family is matched with a child within the first 60 days of submitting paperwork to their orphanage in Haiti.

We have been waiting for 8 months now...just to know the face of the child we will one day bring home. Once we know our child, we still have another 12-18 months of waiting. Needless to say, we have begun this journey of waiting with a lot of waiting. At times, it feels as though we aren't even adopting. We are at a standstill. Waiting.

We know why we are waiting. There is not a child at our orphanage that meets our age/gender request who is not part of a sibling set. We are adopting only one child, and the orphanage doesn't separate sibling sets...nor would we ever want them to.

So, amidst the waiting, trying to encourage our bio kids in the wait and pleading to the Father to identify our child...asking why, when, who...my focus has been on the face of our unknown child, feeling that our child is missing. Because of my focus on identification and absence, I believe I have forgotten something...not that God is in control...I'm confident of that...not that God's plan isn't perfect...I'm confident of that as well. What I have forgotten, or neglected to acknowledge, is that GOD KNOWS THE FACE OF OUR CHILD...for Him...NOT A SINGLE ONE IS MISSING.

I've been remiss to believe that God has a plan, that He is in control and that His timing is perfect while not also believing that our child IS NOT missing. Our child, our children, like the stars of the Heavens have been placed exactly where they need to be, and God knows each one of them by name! None of us is missing! We are FOUND because we are known and loved by Him.

Should it matter that I do not know the face of our fifth child, that I do not know her name, her age or even where she is if God knows? Where is my faith if I do not trust in the whole picture of God's providence? The battle between flesh and spirit is an ongoing, second-by-second struggle for me. The reality of that struggle has come blazing through this waiting experience.

How do I see God? Do I see Him for who He truly is? He is the God of the universe. If He sets the stars in the Heavens according to His plan, how much more will He not be equipped to place a child in a home? He knows the names of the stars. He knows the name of our child. He is not lacking. When I am weak, He is strong.

The challenge before me, before our family, is to pray less about God identifying our child to us...He knows we are ready...and to pray more for our child, for our children...all 5 of them. God knows each one. He never forgets.

My precious Haitian child is known by the God of all grace and goodness....never alone...always known...NEVER, EVER missing. This child has a place in my heart forever. Our family of 6 became a family of 7 the moment God turned our hearts to adopt.

Of course our prayer is for God to lead our 5th child home, but, in the waiting, I must never forget that NOT ONE of my children is missing...NOT ONE.

Update on the Wait

So many of you have kindly been inquiring about our adoption process. The fact that folks are asking warms my heart because it is a reminder that you are interested and haven't forgotten about us :)

The fact that we have been waiting for our referral (to be matched with a child) since February has been difficult. At times it seems as though we aren't even adopting. It's hard to put the picture together without knowing who our child is.

Even though waiting is hard. It is an ever-present part of each step in the process. Everyone's story is different and everyone's degree of waiting is different...nonetheless, waiting is inevitable.

We are comforted to know that God hasn't forgotten us. He is orchestrating His plan in His timing. We are confident that He is working through the right people at the right time to bring the right child to our family...a New Donahue!

Please continue to pray for us and for all the many families who are adopting and waiting, waiting, waiting and for all the precious children who are waiting to go home forever...Undoubtedly, the wait will be worth it for all of us!

Taking the Wait off My Shoulders

For those of you who may be interested, we are still waiting to be matched with our Haitian child. Normally, referrals come within 30 days, sometimes sooner, sometimes later. I'll have to admit that while I knew this, I hoped it would happen on the sooner side rather than the later.

Almost every time I open my email, I expect to see an email from our orphanage saying that they have found our child; however, I have solemnly promised each of the kids that I will not open the email without the whole family. So, should the referral come while the kids are at school, you can bet I will go get each one of them OUT and call Don to come home!

During the waiting, while I am feeling anxious and ready to know the face of the child who will be our own, I have to remind myself that God knows who he or she is. He has chosen this child for our family long before the idea of adoption ever crossed any of our minds. When I can sink into the relief of God's control, the wait seems bearable...not always easy but so much better than the alternative of taking the wait and the weight on my own shoulders. I'm ever mindful that we have only begun to wait, and the episodes of waiting sometimes seem endless.

We are blessed when you remember us in your prayers, but even more so, when you remember our child in your prayers...the one who has a wait I cannot even imagine bearing...so many little ones called to wait...so many waiting to bring them home. Please, Lord Jesus, carry our child, and all those who are waiting, and deliver them safely to the open arms of their forever families. We can't wait...but, yet, we can and we will.

The Tie that Binds

Our dossier arrived safely in Haiti on February 2, 2012 via FedEx! Smith, from New Life Link, has assured us that they have our dossier and that someone is working on a referral for us.

A referral means that they will send us an email "referring" a child to us for adoption. So, the "referral" is actually the child you are adopting. The wait for a referral might be 30 days...could be less.

In Haiti, prospective adoptive parents receive their referral early in the process as opposed to other countries like China where the referral comes shortly prior to the couple traveling to get the child. I'm sure there are pros and cons to doing it on the early side or on the later side. Either way, it is exciting.

We can hardly wait to see who God has chosen to be the New Donahue. We are resting in God's plan and standing confident in His ability...we are human, though :) and have our anxious moments. "Waiting" is a recurring theme of adoption. I know from the stories of others that there will be major tests of patience.

Each adoptive story is different and unique, though. Sometimes, I take on someone else's story and think that mine will be the same. I'm always reminding myself that our story will be ours. Our struggles will be different than those of others...yet, in those differences, there is a commonality...each of us is adopting, and we are not walking alone.

Being surrounded by friends and family who encourage us and pray for us, is critical to our journey. The greatest comfort of all is being loved by you and by our God. Love is, after all, the tie that binds!

Big 4

Just a quick update: Our "Big 4" documents have left the Haitian Consulate and will arrive Monday morning before 10:30. This means we can get things ready to send to Haiti! Praise God. Celebrating each step along the way. Thank you, Lord!

Sober reminder...

From David Platt (http://bhglobalblog.org) via Karen Boggs (http://boggsfamilyadoption.blogspot.com/):

"My goal is certainly not to paint a grim picture of adoption, and many children in foster and/or adoption situations are perfectly healthy. But adoption is not easy, and children are indeed needy. It’s important to realize...that we adopt not because we are rescuers. No, we adopt because we are the rescued. And in this way, the gospel uniquely portrays, compels, and ultimately sustains adoption." -David Platt

Never Alone...

Our journey to discover our "new Donahue" continues. Wow. You know how you don't really understand something until you've actually done it yourself? For instance, you don't really know what it's like to be a mom or dad until you're a mom or dad...then you enter into this "club" of people who empathize with you, and finally you understand the lingo and have sources of support and encouragement.

This is what the adoption process is like. Often I'm asked "how are things going with the adoption?" When I respond, it sounds like I'm speaking a foreign language, and it's hard to explain and hard for the other person to truly understand. The easiest part to explain will be the "we are leaving for Haiti to pick up our child" part. Ultimately, that's what is most important.

However, having a friend or two who have walked this path (or are walking it now) is refreshingly helpful, and a reminder that I'm not alone (or crazy). Empathy is an amazing source of comfort. I know God provides people around us who can empathize and can encourage us when we feel like no one understands, or we're confused or stressed about something in particular.

Last week, Don and I got a lot done in regard to paperwork. Most of the adoption papers have to be notarized, and on top of that, they have to be certified by the county clerk *in* the county where the notary has his/her license (for example, our home study papers were all notarized by a Knox county notary... so we had to mail our documents to Knoxville for certification). After certification, the papers have to be "authenticated" by the Secretary of State...luckily for us, the SofS is right in Nashville.

So, all of our documents are notarized, certified and authenticated. Now, they are being translated into French Creole. Once translated, we'll send them to Miami to the Haitian Consulate for approval. When Miami sends them back, we can send them to Haiti! Whew...

That's only Phase 1, though. Phase 2 is more waiting...a LOT of it from what I understand! Gratefully, there are others who have waited and are waiting...not that I'm glad they're waiting...but I'm grateful that we won't wait alone, and God has placed people in our lives to provide encouragement and reassurance.

Whether you've traveled this same road or not, we would be honored by your prayers of support and footprints in the sand. Our God is so awesome, and He is delighted when He hears the voices of many on behalf of others. Ultimately, all of you are part of our adoption story...so, we adopt together. Thank you for prayerfully remembering us and all of those who travel a similar journey... We are NEVER alone!