Celebrate Good Times...

Today marks the 2 year anniversary of Jordany's homecoming! I can hardly believe it's been two years already. It seemed as though we waited a lifetime to bring him home, and now time is just flying by. He's thriving in kindergarten, developing sweet friendships and growing by leaps and bounds (is it possible he could grow an inch a week?!).  He's a non-stop ball of energy. He never stops asking questions. He plays hard and sleeps well.

I don't think I could have ever imagined what a joy Jordany would be as my child. He is light and love and JOY JOY JOY! Don't get me wrong. He has his moments. Don't we all? Jordany has something special though, and the life of our family is forever changed for the better because of his presence.

He loves his siblings, his papa...everyone. When Baker comes home from college, Jordany yells, "BAKER!" and goes running to jump in his arms. He goes on super adventures with Brennan and his girlfriend, Chelsea. When Cara gets home in the afternoons, he hides from her and then pops out to surprise her. He plays with Eliza whenever he can. They'll get down on the floor and do puzzles together or work on homework at the same time. Jordany adores his "Papa". He's all smiles when Papa walks in the door in the evenings. Truly, in the revolving door of our home, there's not a person who comes in that Jordany won't try to play with...Size and age are insignificant to him.

Jordany turned 6 on March 26. So, his birthday and homecoming are close together, and it's a wonderful time of celebration. This year we did a true American birthday party... Chuck E. Cheese's! Are you jealous?! Oh, my! I can't remember the last time I was in Chuck E. Cheese's. It's not for the faint of heart, but it's a perfect place for a little boy turning 6. I can't even convey the amount of joy that was on his face with his friends seated at the table eating pizza, Chuck E. dancing around the room, and tickets, tickets, tickets flying everywhere... Remember the tickets?  You have them counted in the machine that goes "chomp, chomp, chomp" and gives you a receipt to take to the counter to get a prize. You have to get 10 million to get a stick of gum! Jordany got the "ticket-hookup", though. He won the coveted Golden Ticket worth 1000 tickets, and all of us adults gave him our tickets too. I think Chelsea hit the jack pot and won 1000 in one game! He ended up with about 2500 and a pretty darn good prize!

The past two years have been marked with special moments, hard times and lots of learning and growing... on all of our parts. Sometimes it's challenging to have "started over" with another child, but the challenge is so worth it. This child, every child, is created to be part of a family. Every child needs a home. Jordany thrives in family life. I am humbled that God allowed us this opportunity to bring Jordany home. He belongs here. God created the path and set the plan in motion. He's now weaving the threads of a beautiful child into the tapestry of our family. It is good. It is hard. It is life-changing. It is AMAZING.

There is, of course, so much to tell, so much that goes on every minute of every day. I can't share it all in a blog, but I want you to know about Jordany and his kindness and joy. I've told you before that he often wraps one arm across my back and says, "Happy Together." Those words thrill me. He sometimes gets up from the table and walks around to each one of us and gives us a kiss. At bedtime he gets the pillow and fluffs it up for me before we begin to read and pray. He sometimes wants Papa to tickle him a little, and when he does, Jordany's giggles fill the house and are infectious. You can't help but smile. Jordany picked flowers for me the other day (they were Dandelions...but hey! it's the thought that counts, right?!), held them behind his back and surprised me with them. He was so happy to be giving.

One of my favorite, new-to-the-mix, things he does is come up to me, Don or one of the kids with a smile on his face and arms outstretched and says, "Hey. Com'on. Gimme a hug!" How can I resist? How can anyone resist? Sometimes those hugs end with a kiss on the top of my head and a tender hand rubbing my back. His hugs are authentic. No side hugs. No wimpy arms wrapped around your neck or waist. No quick pat on the back. Tight squeezes... so tight that you can feel his joy move into your own body... there are no words to describe the feeling... Those hugs say it all!

So... we celebrate good times with Jordany, with you. Thank you for continuing on this journey with us. You are a significant part of our story and Jordany's life. We are forever grateful.

(P.S. Jordany reminds me of a perfect example of what it means to pay it forward to someone. His unexpected hugs are intentional with no expectations...just pure kindness. I think we all could use a little kindness in our lives. In case you didn't know, Pay It Forward Day is April 28. My friend and teammate Coach Dar is the US Ambassador for Pay It Forward Day. This year is the 10 year anniversary, and the goal is to achieve 10 million acts of kindness from the 78 countries that are involved. Jump on board. Help get the word out. Hug like Jordany hugs! You know what it's like to be the recipient of a kind act...be the giver too. The Lord knows, we need more kindness in this world. We have enough of the other.)

KINDERGARTEN!!!

Jordany is more excited than ever to be in KINDERGARTEN! He's just all over it. He started full time and goes from 8-3:30...such a long day for a little guy, but he loves it, and he loves his teacher...who, by the way is, no joke, the "Queen of Kindergarten." She's been teaching for 25 years, is known for dancing on the table on Fridays and was also Brennan & Cara's kindergarten teacher. We are so excited to have her for Jordany.

In the mornings, Jordany comes downstairs, thrusts his arms in the air and yells "KINDERGARTEN!" He can't wait to get there every day. He rode the bus the very first day and has been a champ riding it ever since then. The first few days that he rode the bus, he waved to me from the window, gave me a wink and then a thumbs up! He really takes a big bite of life and uses it for all its worth...that wink of his has to be one of my favorite things he does...sometimes he winks and clicks his tongue....wink, click, wink, click... ;-)

One thing Jordany was excited about was getting homework. Well, it didn't take long. The children have started to bring books home to read in the evening...oh, man! I forgot about that...it's been a while. Jordany's books are very short and only one to three words a page. He's a little behind compared to his peers, but he's doing well and is really smart. He's considered an English Language Learner and has an ELL teacher to help him fill in the gaps of his speaking, learning and reading. Although he speaks English really well, there are still lots of concepts and sound combinations for him to have clarified for him and for him learn. We are really grateful to have an ELL teacher to help him.

Not only did Jordany start kindergarten, but he also started playing soccer! OH. MY. GOODNESS. He's the cutest soccer player ever (I'm biased, of course). Jordany is very athletic and coordinated. He kicks the ball well and far, and he can hardly wait for practice each week. On Saturday he had his first game and scored two goals...one of which was really awesome because it was from a long distance. We cheered and cheered. All during the game, he would take a glance over at me, smile his big smile and wave...be still my heart.

So most everything Jordany does involves some kind of play! His favorite part of kindergarten is, of course, lunch and recess. Haha! Kids just love those two activities... I don't blame them. So do I! Jordany continues to thrive, and he's growing taller by the second. We may have a 6' foot Donahue after all!

Even with all of this fun, we certainly have our moments. Jordany can easily melt down...a simple "no" to a request can have him shouting, "I'm so angry" and crying like he'd broken his arm. This is really hard to deal with...there's part of it where there needs to be grace. It's not a typical 5 year old meltdown...at least it wasn't at first. We have to remember that "no" to him could mean "never." Sometimes, I just wrap him up in my arms and let him cry it out but still hold my ground. Recently, we've moved to doing "time in" where Jordany goes to his room to cry it out or work it out and I sit in the hallway. Doing this helps him to know that he's not being abandoned. He needs a safe place to work out his frustration, but he doesn't need to feel left. There are so many things I'm learning through adoption...some of which are counterintuitive, but the concepts have come through study and help from friends.

I have a feeling that Jordany is going to continue to thrive and love kindergarten, soccer and everything he does. He knows most every name in his class and on his soccer team, has a little crush on the girl he sits next to and prays for her every night and can't wait to get up and get dressed to go anywhere. If anything, Jordany is a go-getter. He loves being alive. His smile is testimony to that. I'm overwhelmingly grateful to be his mom, and, guess what?!
I LOVE KINDERGARTEN TOO!!

So Happy Together...

Jordany continues to grow like a weed. He's full of life and energy and only stops talking when he's asleep. He's a little sponge absorbing everything and anything around him...some good, some not so good (haha!).

He had a great summer. He had fun going to two different VBS programs. He went to a day camp called Barefoot Republic for two weeks and had a blast. He met new friends, went to basketball camp at the kid's high school and swam his little heart out...each day at the pool more courage and more progress toward learning to swim. Summer was full and good...and long...and filled with ice cream!

Kindergarten started this week for him, though. He had three half days and will start full time next week. It's been a while since my house was quiet! I stood and listened to the silence. We forget what silence "sounds" like. It's nice for me to have a break from the constant activity. Being a mom to 5 kids is so rewarding, but also very exhausting, not to mention being a 46 year old mom to a 5 year old! I get tired fast...much faster than when the 4 teens were little. I have to adjust and regroup and try to find some rest (and perspective) in between.

In some of that quiet time I remembered how smart 5 year olds are. Jordany needed to learn a 5 digit code to type in a keypad to buy his lunch at school. My skeptical side said, "there's no way he can learn this"... He learned it in under 10 minutes. He can punch it in himself and he can recite it at will. Amazing to me, but, then again, Jordany is always amazing me.

Sometimes I stare at him while he's playing, and I think I'm in a dream. Is he really here? How can I be a mom of a 5 year old? Have we actually started over? The answers are, of course, "yes", but the reality is that it's surreal. The process of bringing him home took so long. I sometimes just can't believe he's here in the flesh playing on my floor, making his cars jump and his "guys" talk...immersed in imagination and happy.

Like I said earlier, Jordany is a sponge. He hears EVERYTHING we say and some things we don't! Sometimes I think he's literally a mind reader. He's English is terrific. There are still times when it's hard to understand what he's saying. His sentence structure will be off or he will use the wrong pronoun for male or female, and he has some catching up to do, but, for the most part, he speaks well and clear.

He and I see an adoption therapist a few times a month. We do what's called "theraplay". Theraplay is actually learning to "play" with your child but with a purpose. It may be that Jordany needs to get out some angry energy. So, he may squish and scrunch sheets of tin foil together to make a ball which helps to release endorphins. Using large muscle groups is important, and we may do a three-legged race or play "Row, Row, Row You're Boat" on the floor, feet pressed together, hands locked and rocking back and forth. Other activities are calming...taking baby powder and a tiny paintbrush and "painting" the palm of his hand to uncover the unique lines that make up his hand or putting lotion on his skin encouraging soft and gentle touch. All of the activities are designed to help him learn to regulate...find an appropriate way to exert extra energy or an option for a calming down...to bring him back from going too far in one direction.

Interestingly, we all need regulation. Crushing up tin foil feels good. Pushing against an object with our feet helps release tension. Rubbing in lotion is calming. Painting with baby powder is soft and relaxing. Jordany thinks we are just having fun and playing...and we are...but we are also learning a lot about each other and are helping one another as we grow together. Theraplay is fun and challenging. It takes a lot of energy, but is important to Jordany's growth, and in the long run, it helps the whole family.

One thing Jordany loves to do is imitate...that's normal. Kids do that. It's different though with Jordany (at least in our family). He's 5, and we've only known him for a year and a half. He picks up everything we say and do. He is a constant observer. I have to be careful. Sometimes he will raise his voice to the dog when she's begging for food, and I realize he got that from me or he may say, "oh my gosh," which he picked up from the teens. We have to redirect him to "oh my goodness." Raising teens with a 5 year old opens doors that weren't challenging when the teens were young. What teens say and do isn't necessarily what you want your little one saying or doing...it's not age appropriate, but we didn't get the chance to start at the beginning with Jordany. So, we're watching what we say and do a lot more these days.

Regardless of the language challenges, the difficulties in teaching him what to say and what not to say, the tantrums over no more popsicles or losing the race, Jordany continues to evolve into a beautiful child. He's always been special. He's always been ours. We love him so dearly and our family wouldn't be complete without him. Thank God he's home and that seeing him playing on the floor is not a figment of my imagination. He's really here. He's really growing and changing and developing. It's a miracle. He's a miracle.

Despite some of the things that "we wish he didn't know or say," this miracle boy is tender and sweet, and he's learned plenty that we are proud of. The other day, he and I went to church, just the two of us. After service, we got in the car, and he said, "Thanks for taking me to church Mom." I then took him for a Sonic treat, and he said, "Thanks for the Sonic Mom." After breakfast, lunch and dinner he says, "Thank you for my breakfast (or whatever the meal) Mom." Thank you's go a long way, and every time he says "thank you", I take a deep breath and thank God. Saying "thank you" is underrated and underused. I cherish the words.

Jordany also opens doors for people, cleans his room when asked and loves to hug. He shakes people's hand when meeting them and on occasion will actually say, "Nice to meet you." He's funny too. Our bedtime routine is book, prayers and songs. The other night I went to put him to bed, and when it came time for songs, he said, while making an "O" with his fingers, "Zero songs mom." Haha! We skipped songs that night. Jordany is clever and fun, and I know God has a great future planned for him.

He may not know how much he's grown or how much he absorbs, but it doesn't go unnoticed. One of my favorite is when he throws his little brown arm around my waist and says, "So happy together." Yes, Jordany, we are indeed so happy together!

Family Home

Spring Break
March 2015

It's been a while since there's been an update on our adoption... Needless to say, we've been a little busy! We celebrated Jordany's one year homecoming on April 7, 2015. In some ways the year just flew by, but as I think over it, so much happened in those 365 days of finally having him home.

Coming Home
April 2014

One thing I've learned is that I hardly knew anything about adoption until Jordany became a permanent part of our family. It's not that I didn't study, go to seminars, talk to people, read books...it's that it's just not the same as having your child with you...in living color, in real life! Occasionally, we get told, "Well, you knew what you were getting into." Haha...that's like telling a first time pregnant woman that she should know how to be a mom while she's carrying her baby in her tummy...It's just different when the child is "birthed". Books help, seminars help, friends who know help the most...but at the end of the day, you have to learn how to parent yourself. You have to know yourself and get to know your child...and in the learning comes the only true way to gain experience.

Official U.S. Citizen!
April 2014

There is plenty that is misunderstood about bringing a child home (adopted or not). Often I was asked by well-meaning, loving people, "Are you just in heaven?" Well, ummm, my response was usually, "We are so happy to have Jordany home, but truthfully, I'm tired to the bone." (don't feel bad if you asked me that! It's a normal question...and part of it was heaven for sure)...but... Guess how long it takes you to get to know your child? All your child's life, and we missed the first 4 years of Jordany's which meant we had a lot of catching up to do and so did he!

"There's a snake in my boot"
October 2014

At some point, I think I will expound on some of our experiences but not now. We suffered through many traumas, blank stares, exhausting tantrums (mine and his!), heaves and sobs and even a few hits and bites...yup...once I got bit on the head. What's a mom to do? This mom fell apart in heaps of tears and cried in my closet. It's real life. Jordany had to adjust too, and we have all come a million miles away from those first few months.

Christmas 2014

It's still hard, I'm a 45 year old mom of a 5 year old. I'm not as spunky as I was when I was 27 and a mom of 4 children 4 and under! Ha! I was pretty tired then too. Parenting is hard, but it's also a tremendous blessing, and our family has experienced an almost unexplainable gift through Jordany...one that we could have never imagined or hoped for except through adoption. It's pretty mind blowing...and that's a good thing. (God's adoption of me as His own has a completely different feel and understanding now...He choose me? Me? This mom? Yep...and He choose you too...that's what He does. He adopts us and claims us as his own!)

Aside from the major adjustments and just learning to live life as a family of 7, Jordany is thriving...I mean THRIVING. He grew 5 inches in one year! He's full of life and joy. His smile stretches from ear to ear. He ABSOLUTELY LOVES BEING PART OF A FAMILY! I can only attribute that to God...the miracle worker.

Sweet CeCe's Yogurt
August 2014

Visiting Baker at UT
September 2014

Jordany is so proud of his siblings. He plays with all of them and can hardly differentiate between friends who are 5, 15, 25 or 75. He has just molded his little self right into the sibling group and right into our whole family...grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends. Having brothers and sisters is Jordany's pride and joy. Baker, Brennan, Cara and Eliza hung the moon in his eyes.

May 2014

Jordany also loves having a mom and a papa. Some days he and I will be walking from one room to the other, and he will lift his little arm up and around my waist and say, "You're my mom," and I'll say right back, "You're my son." And then we sing..."So Happy Together."! He tells me he loves me and showers all of us with kisses. He often grabs any and all of us who are home and calls for a "family hug." How can we resist? We all wrap our arms around each other and hug! Bath time means a great big run and jump into papa's arms. Before a bath, Jordany finds a place at the end of the hall and runs full force into our room and papa reaches out and catches him. He giggles and giggles...his laugh is contagious.

We have so much to be thankful for. I have many stories to share...the good, the bad, the ugly. I don't really give advice, but I can often suggest what NOT to do :-) Jordany is a true gift. Adoption is a gift.

Emerald Coast
March 2015

If you're here reading this, more than likely, you contributed in some way to our bringing our son home. Thank you. Home is sweet, and as Jordany says when we pass our home..."family home"...Yes. It is. Our family is home and our home is family.

Here We Grow...

I can hardly believe we are just days away from bringing our son home forever. With God's favor, we have been generously given enough award miles to take all four of the kids plus bring Jordan home...all 5 received award tickets! Wow!

My dream was to take everyone, and my hope was for each of the children to know the birthplace of their brother...to see the inner beauty of the Haitian men, women and children amidst the ashes and rubble of its poverty...to see the faces of a beautiful and strong people against the backdrop of Haiti's rolling green hills, misty mountains and clear blue seas...to meet and thank those who have dearly loved and cared for our son...to appreciate in some small way the sacrifices of time and energy and unconditional love that have been made to bring sweet Jordan into our lives and into our family.

In the early stages of our adoption process, our dear friend Christy Nockels put the unfolding of our story into a song. While she wrote the song with us in mind, it was also written for the thousands who share their own unique adoption story. No one has the same experience, but we all share the common bond of bringing a child home. It's an inexplainable journey filled with joy, heartache, waiting, confusion, faith, exasperation, patience, anxiety, lack of patience, testing and more...

If you've heard us use the phrase "we're on our way," it's because of this tender song that tells the story of how God used our youngest daughter to touch the hearts of our whole family and move us toward adoption. Here are some of the lyrics...

Ever wonder what it’s like, 

When God dreams a dream,

And puts that dream into a family?

He might start with the youngest,

And let her lead the oldest,

He loves to trust a child with mystery…

We’re on our way...

To a place we cannot go without our faith

Across the big, blue sky there you await

We’ll never be the same…

So, here we grow…

With a love so big it’s bound to bring you home

Oh we love you more than you could know

Hold on tight…

We’re on our way, baby...

copyright © 2012 Christy Nockels

God uses "the least of these" to accomplish His purposes. I have no doubt. I see it all the time. God has stretched us in ways we could not have anticipated and in ways we could not have endured without faith in Him and His plan. In 2012, When Christy wrote this song, I could hardly imagine the day we would leave for Haiti...now that day is just around the corner. Praise God.

While the journey to go get our son is close at hand, the road to growing our family is only just beginning. Please keep our travel and safety in your prayers. Please pray for Jordan's heart and that God will, in a way only He can, prepare him for his family. Pray for Baker, Brennan, Cara and Eliza as they transition to life with a new sibling. Pray for Don and me as we "start over" in our parenting journey. There are many unknowns and many "not yets".  Our desire is to live and love one day at a time...in His peace...in His presence. Thank you again for indulging us, praying for us, giving to us, cheering us on and for loving us through this time. Our hearts are stretched, and we will never be the same (thank God)...

Here We Grow!

But God...

I opened my email yesterday morning and waiting there in my inbox was a message we have anticipated for 2+ years now...

"Dear Mr. & Mrs. Donahue...

we are pleased to inform you that 

Jordany Donahue may be scheduled for 

the final visa interview..." 

The final one. What does this mean? We are closer today than we have ever been...our baby boy will be home soon, very soon. How can we possibly express the emotions running through our hearts and heads?!

The formal adoption process, the paperwork, the delays, the waiting, the unknown timeframe... all of it is almost done...it really, really is...almost done! How can it be?! Something so long-awaited is about to come to fruition...something only God Himself could orchestrate to its fullness and bring about this most dramatic turning of the page...

God is the Change Agent, the Difference Maker...
The only one who can fill my empty cup until it runneth over, the only one who can remind me that He means it all for good...
In every season, in every stage, there would be no difference, no challenge to our faith, no change in our life...

"but God"

I am overwhelmed by the process...

but God makes all things possible

I am weak from waiting...

but God is my refuge & strength

I am depleted and have no answers...

but God gave the increase

I have so little faith...

but God is faithful

I am insufficient...

but God is my sufficiency

I am weary and heavy laden...

but God is the strength of my heart & my portion forever

I can't wait any longer...

but God is full of compassion, long-suffering & filled with mercy

It is God alone who turns our heads and our hearts from the impossible to the possible. There is no good thing that does not fully emanate from the hands of our Maker. How Great is Our God...from everlasting to everlasting, He is faithful.

God's skillful hands weave a tapestry unlike any I could ever imagine. Every stitch is divinely intertwined. Every knot is made beautiful. Every cord is richly hued. Every tear is patched and tightly woven. Every inch of every fiber is filled with mercy and grace, and the blanket over us is love...His love.

So...what does all this mean?

It means that... 

no part of this journey could have been possible without God and... 

JORDAN WILL COME HOME IN LESS THAN A MONTH!

Our hope, God-willing, is to take our family of SIX to Haiti and 

come home as a family of 

SEVEN!

Of course, it will take a miracle to organize and orchestrate flights and schedules, but we have already been blessed by offers to help.

If you're here, reading this, you are part of our journey. We are blessed by you. Thank you for being the hands and feet of Jesus and for rejoicing with us as we anticipate bringing our son home.

BUT GOD... 

Called us

Sent His own son to die for us

 Claimed us as His own

Adopted us as His sons and daughters

He is the great Change Maker... He alone is the difference!

One Step Closer...

PRAISE GOD! 

JORDAN HAS HIS HAITIAN PASSPORT! 

Next Step: U.S. VISA!

Final Step: HOME!

Every journey begins with a step, and no journey is the same. Sometimes we step with conviction, and sometimes we step with trepidation. Every time we step, though, eyes wide open or eyes shut tight, we have to step in faith. Faith that He will see us through and will not lead us astray. Faith that His plan is better, and His time table is perfect.

This morning I read in a Parenting by Design devotional, "God moves at His pace, and we have to trust that He knows what is best for our family. When we get impatient and try to force our will, we can lose God's path...That's not to say we should stop moving forward...and just wait for God to move...He requires that we keep pursuing His path with diligence. But ours is an active dependence, constantly moving forward and yet content with wherever God's path leads us. We must have faith in the direction God is leading us and patience that He knows just how to proceed."

I find that I'm often trying to force "my will" and in doing so, I lose God's path, which becomes frustrating, especially when I want things done on my terms (read: quickly). If anything has taught me (and continues to teach me) that His way is better, it's been through this process of adopting.

I continue to relinquish my desires to His while trying to actively pursue the path He has placed before me. It's the only way. At the end of the day, the time table is not in my control. Every day, I remind myself of that and start anew. Thankfully, His grace covers my humanity, and as I realize that His ways truly are better than mine, I understand more fully the need to walk in faith and not by my time table.

Our realistic hope in December was that we would bring Jordan home in February, but the passport took three times the "typical" processing speed. We will not rely on a time table to predict when Jordan will be home, but our prayer is that we can go get him this spring; however, we take one step at a time and rejoice over each milestone in the process.

Regardless, our baby is coming home! I can't wait to see him and wrap him in my arms...that day is coming, and today we are one step closer! Thank God!