Your Life Speaks...So, Live Your Best Life!

Eliza with Genma Holmes December 17, 2011

I am constantly amazed by God's creativity . I shouldn't be, but my humanity gets the best of me sometimes...well, most of the time.

Today, Eliza and I had the fantastic opportunity to join Genma Holmes and her radio program Live Your Best Life. Genma talked with Eliza about our adoption story and how God used the lives of our friends Mike & Missy Wilson to speak to us.

Mike & Missy are dear friends of ours who God strategically placed in our lives 5 years ago. Their ministry, aptly named, My Life Speaks, is a true reflection of who they are inside and out.

Eliza and Missy Wilson in Haiti July 2011

What I think is so cool about God is how He has brought two ministries into our lives...First, My Life Speaks and second, Live Your Best Life.

I was thinking about how the two of these ministry titles tie together so well and bring a powerful message: If my life speaks, then I should live my best life!

Our lives do speak, everyday. People watch our actions, take note of how we handle difficult situations and are influenced by how we reflect God's love.

We are blessed by Genma and her passion for helping us bring home our New Donahue, and we are forever grateful for Mike & Missy's imprint on our lives and in our hearts.

God is a Master Story Teller, and He weaves the tapestry of our lives in a unique way that only He is capable of orchestrating.

If I keep my eyes wide open, my ears in tune and my heart on Him, He will lead me...all of us...on a fantastic journey of faith creating His story for my life...not my story.

If my life is not speaking the best story of all, the gift of Jesus Christ, then my life is not the best that it can be.

My prayer is that our adoption journey will give glory to the name of Jesus and shine a light that is only about Him...not us...a Light that is a true reflection of His calling...not mine.

Let Your Life Speak as you Live Your Best Life.... all to His glory!

A New Donahue... called by Name

I've been working on a family blog for our adoption journey. Several of the posts about our adoption were on my personal blog. So, I transferred them over here.

A journey is a great way to describe the process of adoption. There are hills and valleys, fast rides and slow crawls, and we are only in the beginning.

Our home study is complete and we now begin finishing up documents so that we can get our fingerprints and then send our dossier to Haiti. It's a lot of work, but I have to continue to remind myself that our adoption road is not planned by me. There is comfort in knowing that the God of all Grace and Comfort has planned our journey step-by-step.

When things don't go my way or the way that I had thought they would go, it is a privilege to rest in the assurance that my missteps and mistakes are all in God's hands. He has already planned this journey, and He steers me. I need to allow Him to do just that.

As I reflect on the beginning of our adoption decision and this giant leap of faith, I can't help but be reminded of Isaiah 43:1: "I have called you by name. You are mine."

I want to put an exclamation point at the end of "you are mine"... I can hear the Father shouting from the heavens: "Laura Lyn. I have called YOU by name. YOU ARE MINE!" The same way He calls me by name, He has called each one of us, including our yet-to-be-named, new Donahue.

We have all been adopted by God our Heavenly Father. He ransomed His one and only Son, Jesus Christ, so that He could shout our names from the heavens and declare that we are His. WE ARE HIS!

In this season of Christmas, as we prepare for the celebration of the Christ child's birth, I'm reminded of Mary's obedience to the Lord's calling on her life. She was unaware of His plan, yet she agreed to trust and obey. In essence, she agreed to adopt Christ into her own womb and raise the son of God as her son. Joseph agreed to be Jesus' earthly Father and care for Him as his own.

Adoption is a part of everyone's story. Each of our journeys is different, but we are all called by name by the Lord of Hosts. He shouts from the heavens that you and I are His. We long to shout from the hills of Tennessee the name of our new child...our new Donahue. We wait with expectancy.

Open Arms

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 7, 2011

Open Arms

Last Saturday we had our first visit for our home study. Our social worker was wonderful. We sat and talked with her about our life, marriage, parenting and more. She told us of the adoption of her son and spoke tenderly and passionately about the impact that he has had on her and talked about the realities of having a child who is of a different race.

We listened intently and were so moved by her and the gift she has given her son. She asked each of the children several questions about adoption, how they feel about it, what they think about having a multicultural family and asked them to consider how they will respond when others may not be as accepting of us because we are not all the same.

Each of the kids was so respectful. They took turns raising their hands and answering the questions. It was like we had planned it out...but we didn't! Baker, Brennan, Cara and Eliza did such a wonderful job expressing themselves. They are all so excited about our adoption and are eager to embrace a new Donahue. We know that there will be challenges, though, and our social worker did a great job speaking candidly to them.

We will be faced with prejudice and discrimination we have not felt before, and we will be put in uncomfortable positions when people ask naive or hurtful questions. Our whole life experience will be new and different, and we won't know how any of it feels until our child comes home.

What we do know is that we are eager to love our new Donahue with all of our hearts, and we are walking in faith that He has great things in store for each of us.

The word "adoption" has taken on new meaning for us. The reality that we are all adopted by God Himself is making a powerful impact on us as we consider God's adoption of us.

God really did choose us, and He wanted us so much that He sent His only son Jesus to pay the ultimate price for us. God pursues us. He never will leave us or forsake us. We are His. We have an eternal home with Him. We have a God who knows us each by name and calls us His own. Despite the trials and tribulation of the world, regardless of the attacks and discrimination of our faith, we are still held, wanted and loved.

Don't we all want to be called by name, to be wanted, to be loved without condition? Thank God He has adopted us in spite of ourselves, and we are no longer alone. We are no longer orphans. The God of all grace and comfort, the one and only Lord, has said "Come to Me. You are mine. I want you!"

My prayer is that when our little Haitian Donahue comes home, s/he will feel an inkling of the love that the Father has lavished on us and will live secure in the knowledge that s/he too has been called by name and is safe in the Everlasting arms of Jesus!

Eyes Wide Open

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 2011

Eyes Wide Open

This past weekend, Don and I attended an adoption conference called "Empowered to Connect." It was hosted by Show Hope and led by Dr. Karyn Purvis, Director of the Institute of Child Development at Texas Christian University. Our friends Dan and Terri Coley also spoke as did a couple of other families.

To say that the conference was good would be to do it an injustice, even to say it was great would wouldn't be the best way to describe it. To say that it was a big dose of a reality check would be adequate.

Truly there is no way to describe how incredibly educating and informative this conference was for us. The overall theme was learning to connect to your adopted child based on your child's attachment style, and, yet, that only skims the surface of the depth of the conference.

I'm not writing this blog today to try to convey Dr. Purvis' principles or recount stories that were told. My purpose in writing is to underline the importance of educating yourselves prior to adoption. Obviously, this is our journey right now, and while education seems like a logical step, I would venture to say that what we learned from Dr. Purvis is unlike anything that can be captured just through reading or perhaps from any other conference.

While the conference was focused on adoption, the principle discussed directly affect relationship in any form and don't only apply to adopted children but biological children as well. In fact, there is not a person who could not learn something amazingly insightful from listening to Dr. Purvis.

The weekend was mostly positive, educational and thought-provoking; however, it was also emotionally draining and even scary at times. We heard personal testimonies of severely difficult adoptions and witnessed video of Dr. Purvis in action working to transform the lives of children and improve their home life, emotional health and provide parents with hope. What we witnessed is that there is hope in every situation. What was missing was a balance of reality.

I'm confident of adoption success stories with few attachment issues and little, if any, difficulties. I'm also sure of adoptions that have experienced more attachment issues than others, but at the same time, have experienced success through implementing Dr. Purvis' safe-touch therapy plus more.

Without a doubt, I would recommend this conference to anyone...pre-adoptive, post-adoptive, or non-adoptive. If you have the opportunity to attend one, please go. I promise you won't be sorry. You can visit the TCU website for more information www.child.tcu.edu. If you can't make it to a conference, the book The Connected Child by Dr. Purvis and other professionals is terrific. There are also several DVD seriesthat can be purchased.

We are still in the beginning stages of our adoption and looking forward to our first home study visit on Saturday. The blessing of this conference for us is the opportunity that we now have to walk into the process with education, with our eyes WIDE open and with the confidence that the Lord has already hand-picked the "new" Donahue. He or she will arrive in His perfect timing, according to His perfect plan and clothed in His perfect care. Our Hope is in Him, and we are blessed to be on this journey

Diving In...

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 2011

Diving In...

"Diving in" seemed an appropriate follow-up to "Jump then Fall"...because we have jumped, fallen and are now diving, head over heals, into adopting from Haiti. It's hard to believe that we are on this journey. It takes so much just to get started. Of course, you never know what you're getting into until you go for it.

As of right now, we are in the major paperwork overload stage. We are filling out our home study packet and preparing for our social worker to visit us soon. Who knew all the information you have to reveal about yourself? It's certainly necessary, but I guess I've never really thought much about it because I haven't actually walked through this process myself or alongside a close friend.

The questionnaires and paperwork are revealing and reflective. While I filled out the marriage questionnaire, I reflected on what I love about my husband, how we communicate, what we struggle with, what our challenges are as a couple and how we resolve conflict. I retold the story of falling in love with Don and fell further in love with him as I told it, and thought about so much in our lives that I never really spend much time thinking about...this has been a good exercise and worth the time that it has taken.

There's also the "autobiography" of sorts that you have to write plus a parenting questionnaire. Each step has caused me to process more of who I am, who we are as a family, and who Don and I are as a couple and as parents. Perhaps this is part of the design of the home study, or maybe it's just a side effect. Either way, it's been so good for me to spend time writing and preparing, thinking all the time about the little boy or girl that will come into our family.

Because the process takes so long (18 months or so), and we don't know yet who our child is, there is a strange feeling that this isn't "real". So many others are much further ahead. We have so many steps to complete, so many government agencies to go through and so much waiting. The adoption of a child is often compared to a pregnancy. I like the analogy.

For me, the paperwork has seemed a bit like morning sickness and the overwhelming tiredness...something to get through but also a reason to cause me to slow down. At times I've thought, I will never get through the paperwork. Other times, I've been so tired from thinking and writing, but the process is good...necessary.

When the paperwork is done and the documents are sent to their respective places (after many notarizations, government clearances, translations, etc.), we will begin to wait. When you're pregnant, you have to wait too. Why should it be any different with adoption? We will wait. Sometimes we will wait patiently. Sometimes we will wait in anxiousness.

Our labor will come in stages...first, through our referral (when we get an emailed picture of our child!), then a first visit to meet our child and finally bringing our child home forever. I think the labor pains will be strongest between the time we first meet our child in Haiti and the time when we bring him or her home.

Anyway around it, it's all a process. The process is good, though, and worth it. Good things come to those who wait; and all things good are from God, and He promises that our labor will not be in vain. Thank goodness His process, plan and timing is perfect.

So, here we go... dive with us, head over heels. The journey will be worth it!

WARNING: you will get wet on this ride!

Jump then Fall

THURSDAY, AUGUST 11, 2011

Jump then Fall

Since returning from Haiti, my heart can't stop thinking about the children there. I was overwhelmed by the reality of so many children without parents. While I knew the statistic "147 Million" orphans, thanks to the wonderful awareness campaign by moms making a difference, that number itself is hard to comprehend. However, when I put faces with the number, my heart felt sick...so many children with no mom, no dad, no family.

One day, I spoke with one of the male workers at the orphanage. We had a long conversation. Jean Marie was learning English and was eager to talk to me. In our conversation, I asked him what he thought about Americans and other foreigners adopting the Haitian children and taking them out of their homeland. With Jean Marie being Haitian, I wanted to hear his perspective.

What he told me, further opened my eyes. Jean Marie said, "I love America. I love Americans. You have come in to help us when we cannot help ourselves. The only chance that these children have in this world is to be adopted. I am very grateful and happy that Americans want to take care of and love these kids." Those words, coming from Jean Marie whose homeland is Haiti, rocked my world.

Eliza and I fell in love with these precious souls. We loved on them, carried them, played with them, fed them, giggled, sang and just held them...for hours. It was so difficult to leave them when it was time to return to the States. Here, at home, I can't stop thinking about those children. One, in particular, holds a firm grasp on my heart. She is constantly on my mind and in my heart...

I was emotionally unprepared to be called "Mama Blanc"to tiny hearts thousands of miles away, and I know I am among hundreds of women who feel similar. The attachment is much more powerful than I imagined. So hard, in fact, that when Eliza and I came home, we asked our own family to consider adoption.

We have been praying now for just over 30 days. Some of us are looking for a big sign that says, "yes, adoption is for your family!" Some want a small sign, a nudge. Others of us don't need a sign at all. The heart just knows... perhaps that is sign enough.

Today I came across a quote that I wrote down during a Bible study last year. I don't know if someone in our group said it, if I penned it or if I paraphrased it from something that was said. It doesn't matter. 

What I wrote was, "Are you afraid to pray for what you need because of fear you might get it?" A couple of days ago, I was reading Facebook posts, and my friend Kelly posted, "Why do we doubt God when He...shows us opportunities -- why do we look for things to hold us back -- why?"

Both of those questions are "fear-based." We can talk ourselves out of anything if we focus on the fear-factor. I understand practicality and the need to consider reality when making a big decision, but sometimes, the best decisions are the most impractical, the most radical...the most real.

Fear of what is not practical can hold us back from falling...even while we stare possibility in the face. Fear of what feels radical can keep us from leaping...even while God holds His will in our face.

Do I need a sign? Do I have to hold out a fleece? Do I have to be practical?  Do I need reasons to hold myself back? If so, what am I going to miss?

I'm feeling the urge to jump...

She Has a Heart for Haiti

MONDAY, JULY 18, 2011

She Has a Heart for Haiti

Eliza and I recently returned from our first trip to Haiti... the trip was Eliza's dream come true. She claimed to have a heart for Haiti prior to ever going. I witnessed that heart in action and in truth when I saw her in Haiti. She does, indeed, have a heart for Haiti.

Our trip to Haiti included our spending time with the children in the orphanage adjacent to our guest house. The time we spent with those children is some of the most precious time of my life... not just because of the children themselves but also because of my child's unreserved love for them. She went in "no holds barred," heart and soul, no conditions... just pure love and passion.

We were with a group of 60 or so people. Eliza, 10 years old, was by far the youngest by at least 5 years. Being the youngest, though, was not a disadvantage for her. In fact, what I witnessed in her is the heart of a girl on a mission... a missionary, called by God to the country of Haiti.

I would venture to say that it's rare for a 10 year old to hear God's calling. I think it's rare for an adult to hear God's calling... or perhaps what's rare is for us to listen and follow God's calling. Eliza had no problem hearing, listening and following.

She touched our group of Americans in a way that literally floored me. The whole group knew her by name. Men and women encouraged her, loved on her and witnessed God's calling on her life.

There is so much more to tell, more details of our experiences both emotionally and spiritually, but what I most want to convey right now, is the call to hear, listen and follow.

Jesus tells us that we should have faith like that of a child. A child's faith is unclouded by Earthly distractions... eyes open, ears listening, heart fertile. Never have I personally experienced a more powerful witness for God's will than I did while watching Eliza.

Oh, that I, like Eliza, like a child, would be a simple vessel for Christ... filled up, running over, spilling out everywhere.