Joyeux Noel...

In a manger He lay...the One who would save the world. Love came down. Behold the Good News of Jesus Christ.

Thinking of Christ's birth this Christmas season has been especially emotional for me. I have listened to and read tender interpretations from friends, preachers, Max Lucado and others who have brought a life to the Christmas story that continues to illicit tears from my eyes and secure joy in my heart.

Reflecting on Jesus' birth this season has brought me nearer to Him, the Christ child, and nearer to my child who doesn't know me. I long to touch my son as Mary touched the face of her baby boy. I long to hold him in my arms and rock him as Mary rocked God Himself.

There is countless imagery that emerges...we are orphans; God adopted us; Jordan is an orphan; We are adopting him; The manger scene is called a creche; Jordan lives in a creche. In no way am I comparing Jordan to Christ or our adoption to God's adoption, but the tangible nature of adopting Jordan has renewed the Christ child within me.

Christ is alive and well. In this world, we will encounter many trials and tribulations. We will mourn the loss of friends and family. We will lose our jobs. We will face divorce. We will be hurt by others. We will hurt others. We will long for a child we do not know. We will wait for answers. We will agonize and ache, but God says, "Take heart. I have overcome the world and everything in it!" He did this with a tiny baby, born in an insignificant town in a dirty stable to preteen mother and overwhelmed father. He came unnoticed except to a few shepherds, wise men and animals. Heaven was not unaware, though. Joy exploded as the Prince of God came to save us from the prince of darkness.

Emmanuel. God is with us. Always and forever.

Joyeux Noel

Mama Blanc...

I have a new friend who is adopting from the same orphanage where Jordany is in Haiti. She and her husband are taking their two biological children to meet their 9 month old sister this coming weekend. My friend offered to take some things to Jordany for us, and we jumped at the chance.

Each of the kids made a Christmas card for Jordany expressing their love for their new brother. It was so tender for me to read the words that they wrote to the little brother they do not know...he is a face far away...connected to us but not tangible...almost unreal...ours nonetheless.

We also sent him a cute outfit with guitars on it... this is Nashville after all! The son of my dear friend gathered up matchbox cars to give to him, and we made him a simple flip book of photos of his family...each a memento wrapped in love.

I sat down to write Jordany a note to send with the gifts. As I began writing, I began crying (of course)...this little child of mine...what do I say to my 2 1/2 year old who doesn't know my name...to him I am "Mama Blanc." What do I say to my child who doesn't know my face; who doesn't call me mommy; who doesn't comprehend the love waiting for him across the miles?

My note was simple...he is 2 1/2 after all; he doesn't speak English, and I didn't need to say much. Writing him took my breath away. I'm writing to my baby! I don't know him. I don't know what it feels like to hold him. I don't know what his little voice sounds like. I don't know what to say because there is too much to say. I penned simple, tender assurances telling my baby how much I love him, how much we all love him...telling him that he has a mommy and daddy, 2 big brothers and 2 big sisters waiting for him. I told him that we would come soon...I pray we can.

I cannot wait to gather my baby boy into my arms, wrap him up, hug him, hold him...Will he let me? I pray every day that God will prepare his little heart for love...from me, from his daddy and from his brothers and sisters.

"Oh, Love that will not let me go. I rest my soul in Thee."

Here we go...

We are in the first stage of the Haitian adoption process. We expect to be here for the next 4-8 months depending on how things in Haiti are moving along. Our prayer is that the wait will be shorter...of course. Following this stage there are several more steps within the Haitian process. Our understanding is that it will be at least a year until Jordany gets to come home to his forever home.

We will travel to Haiti at least once before we get to bring him home. There are papers to file and court to attend. More than likely we will meet his mother. She is still living as far as anyone knows. There is no known father on Jordany's birth certificate. So, he will remain a mystery.

Jordany's biological mom brought him to the orphanage so that he would be adopted by a family who could care for him. I cannot imagine how she had the strength to give him up, but I know that she must love him very much to want him to have what she felt she could not give him. I would love to tell her how blessed we are to have the opportunity to be Jordany's family. Perhaps we will get to meet her and thank her in person.

If you would like to come alongside us in the adoption process, we would be blessed to have your prayerful support. We also would like to extend the opportunity to participate with us through financial donations. We believe that God's command to "care for the orphan"(James 1:27) and "speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves"(Prov. 31:8) can be followed in many different ways...some are called to adopt, some are called to help others adopt, some are called to go and care for the orphans. We are all called to pray. Thank you for praying.

God Speed...

Because of the help and prayers of many, our paperwork has officially entered the adoption department of the Haitian government! We are so grateful for God's hand in every step of our journey.

I love looking at the pictures of Jordany...his eyes, his smile, his face. I often trace his photos with my finger, praying for every part of him. It's strange to know that we have a child thousands of miles away that we have yet to scoop up in our arms, hug, kiss and assure him of his place in our heart and in our home. Jordany doesn't know us; yet, I pray that he senses us...that God has given him a peace that lets him know that we are coming to get him.

The most difficult part of adoption is waiting. "Waiting" is a rampant theme throughout the whole process. The completion of all the legalities, paperwork, court appearances, loom in front of us keeping us aware that we still have much waiting yet to do. I'm beginning to think that my prayer for patience is being taken way too seriously :-) I feel sufficiently tested and think I will pray for light speed...for us, for all of the adopting families and especially for the little ones who wait and do not understand.

Our God opened His mouth and created the heavens and the earth. His lips spoke "light", and there was light. His breath breathed the stars, and the universe was filled. His hands formed the most intricate of living beings from a handful of dust. Were His praises not sung by men and women, we would hear the rocks cry out His name, the winds clap hallelujahs and the hills shout out His glory.

It's true that we have up to another year and a half before we can bring Jordany home,  but our God is a God of deliverance. He parted the seas, gave sight to the blind, raised men and women from the dead. His mercies never come to an end. Our prayer is that God will move heaven and earth and bring our baby boy home sooner rather than later.

Heart's Desire...

It is with great joy in my heart and praise on my lips that I am able to share with you that God has granted me the desires of my heart and the hearts of my family. Why has He been so gracious? Not because of anything I have done, not because of anything that I have said...but only because of His great love and goodness and because He is God.

I am greatly humbled to say that our Donahue Crew has grown in number by one and is full to overflowing with thanksgiving and praise to the only wise God. He never leaves or forsakes. His mercies never come to an end. God's plan is ever perfect and always so much better than my own!

Introducing Jordany...our baby boy!

We are ever humbled by the many of you who are walking this road with us and sharing in the journey. Thank you for your prayers and for lifting us up to the Father. Thank you for helping to pray Jordany into our lives. Help us pray him home. We still need you! Our journey has just begun.

"Precious Jordany, the Lord God has ransomed you. He has called you by name, and you are His."(paraphrase Isaiah 43:1). By His grace and goodness we call you son. We long to know you and bring you home.

"All glory to God who kept us from falling and has seen fit to bring us into His glorious presence...Not because of anything we have done...
All glory be to God alone and our Saviour Jesus Christ. All glory, majesty, power and authority are His before all time, right now and forever. Amen!" (paraphrase Jude1:24-25)

A Love Letter...

Today I am weeping over the waiting. I don't even know what my little girl looks like; yet, I miss her. I don't know her name; yet, I miss her. I know nothing about this child of mine save that she is chosen...chosen by me, chosen by the Donahue Crew, chosen by God.

My precious little girl, I've chosen you, my child, our family has chosen you as God has chosen each of us. We are His. By His grace, you are ours. You are not alone, little one. Tears stream down my face this afternoon. I don't know where you are. I don't know if you are held. I don't know if you are fed or bathed or clothed. I don't know if you feel loved, but I do know that you ARE loved. Dearest one, please hear my heart cry to you. You are not alone. I am coming to get you...your daddy, your brothers and sisters. I will find you. I will hold you, feed you, bathe you and cloth you. I will love you...we will love you. We are coming, sweet one. We are coming. May the Lord hold you close to His breast, give you comfort and fill you with His love. I know that you are not missing, but I miss you. Your mommy loves you. Your family loves you. Jesus loves you. I hope and pray that somewhere in your beautiful heart you know of Love, you feel it. For it is Love that will carry you home...Love Himself...amazing Love. My darling child, His Love covers you. His love covers me. His Love will usher you into my embrace. Love will bring you home. Mommy is waiting. Your family is waiting. We will see you soon. I love you my chosen one.

Not One of Them is Missing

This week at the Bible study I attend, we looked at Isaiah 40:25-26:

“To whom will you compare me?
Who is my equal?” asks the Holy One. Look up into the heavens.
Who created all the stars?
He brings them out like an army, one after another,
calling each by its name.
Because of his great power and incomparable strength,
not a single one is missing." (Isaiah 40:25, 26 NLT)

Our challenge was to ask ourselves:

"How do I see God and why? How can I see Him for who is truly is?"

The phrase that has stuck out to me in this passage is "not a single one is missing." In our adoption journey, we have found ourselves waiting an inordinately long time to just be matched with a child. Often with Haitian adoptions, families begin the process with a child who has previously been identified...i.e. someone the family met on a mission trip...or the family is matched with a child within the first 60 days of submitting paperwork to their orphanage in Haiti.

We have been waiting for 8 months now...just to know the face of the child we will one day bring home. Once we know our child, we still have another 12-18 months of waiting. Needless to say, we have begun this journey of waiting with a lot of waiting. At times, it feels as though we aren't even adopting. We are at a standstill. Waiting.

We know why we are waiting. There is not a child at our orphanage that meets our age/gender request who is not part of a sibling set. We are adopting only one child, and the orphanage doesn't separate sibling sets...nor would we ever want them to.

So, amidst the waiting, trying to encourage our bio kids in the wait and pleading to the Father to identify our child...asking why, when, who...my focus has been on the face of our unknown child, feeling that our child is missing. Because of my focus on identification and absence, I believe I have forgotten something...not that God is in control...I'm confident of that...not that God's plan isn't perfect...I'm confident of that as well. What I have forgotten, or neglected to acknowledge, is that GOD KNOWS THE FACE OF OUR CHILD...for Him...NOT A SINGLE ONE IS MISSING.

I've been remiss to believe that God has a plan, that He is in control and that His timing is perfect while not also believing that our child IS NOT missing. Our child, our children, like the stars of the Heavens have been placed exactly where they need to be, and God knows each one of them by name! None of us is missing! We are FOUND because we are known and loved by Him.

Should it matter that I do not know the face of our fifth child, that I do not know her name, her age or even where she is if God knows? Where is my faith if I do not trust in the whole picture of God's providence? The battle between flesh and spirit is an ongoing, second-by-second struggle for me. The reality of that struggle has come blazing through this waiting experience.

How do I see God? Do I see Him for who He truly is? He is the God of the universe. If He sets the stars in the Heavens according to His plan, how much more will He not be equipped to place a child in a home? He knows the names of the stars. He knows the name of our child. He is not lacking. When I am weak, He is strong.

The challenge before me, before our family, is to pray less about God identifying our child to us...He knows we are ready...and to pray more for our child, for our children...all 5 of them. God knows each one. He never forgets.

My precious Haitian child is known by the God of all grace and goodness....never alone...always known...NEVER, EVER missing. This child has a place in my heart forever. Our family of 6 became a family of 7 the moment God turned our hearts to adopt.

Of course our prayer is for God to lead our 5th child home, but, in the waiting, I must never forget that NOT ONE of my children is missing...NOT ONE.

Update on the Wait

So many of you have kindly been inquiring about our adoption process. The fact that folks are asking warms my heart because it is a reminder that you are interested and haven't forgotten about us :)

The fact that we have been waiting for our referral (to be matched with a child) since February has been difficult. At times it seems as though we aren't even adopting. It's hard to put the picture together without knowing who our child is.

Even though waiting is hard. It is an ever-present part of each step in the process. Everyone's story is different and everyone's degree of waiting is different...nonetheless, waiting is inevitable.

We are comforted to know that God hasn't forgotten us. He is orchestrating His plan in His timing. We are confident that He is working through the right people at the right time to bring the right child to our family...a New Donahue!

Please continue to pray for us and for all the many families who are adopting and waiting, waiting, waiting and for all the precious children who are waiting to go home forever...Undoubtedly, the wait will be worth it for all of us!

Taking the Wait off My Shoulders

For those of you who may be interested, we are still waiting to be matched with our Haitian child. Normally, referrals come within 30 days, sometimes sooner, sometimes later. I'll have to admit that while I knew this, I hoped it would happen on the sooner side rather than the later.

Almost every time I open my email, I expect to see an email from our orphanage saying that they have found our child; however, I have solemnly promised each of the kids that I will not open the email without the whole family. So, should the referral come while the kids are at school, you can bet I will go get each one of them OUT and call Don to come home!

During the waiting, while I am feeling anxious and ready to know the face of the child who will be our own, I have to remind myself that God knows who he or she is. He has chosen this child for our family long before the idea of adoption ever crossed any of our minds. When I can sink into the relief of God's control, the wait seems bearable...not always easy but so much better than the alternative of taking the wait and the weight on my own shoulders. I'm ever mindful that we have only begun to wait, and the episodes of waiting sometimes seem endless.

We are blessed when you remember us in your prayers, but even more so, when you remember our child in your prayers...the one who has a wait I cannot even imagine bearing...so many little ones called to wait...so many waiting to bring them home. Please, Lord Jesus, carry our child, and all those who are waiting, and deliver them safely to the open arms of their forever families. We can't wait...but, yet, we can and we will.

The Tie that Binds

Our dossier arrived safely in Haiti on February 2, 2012 via FedEx! Smith, from New Life Link, has assured us that they have our dossier and that someone is working on a referral for us.

A referral means that they will send us an email "referring" a child to us for adoption. So, the "referral" is actually the child you are adopting. The wait for a referral might be 30 days...could be less.

In Haiti, prospective adoptive parents receive their referral early in the process as opposed to other countries like China where the referral comes shortly prior to the couple traveling to get the child. I'm sure there are pros and cons to doing it on the early side or on the later side. Either way, it is exciting.

We can hardly wait to see who God has chosen to be the New Donahue. We are resting in God's plan and standing confident in His ability...we are human, though :) and have our anxious moments. "Waiting" is a recurring theme of adoption. I know from the stories of others that there will be major tests of patience.

Each adoptive story is different and unique, though. Sometimes, I take on someone else's story and think that mine will be the same. I'm always reminding myself that our story will be ours. Our struggles will be different than those of others...yet, in those differences, there is a commonality...each of us is adopting, and we are not walking alone.

Being surrounded by friends and family who encourage us and pray for us, is critical to our journey. The greatest comfort of all is being loved by you and by our God. Love is, after all, the tie that binds!

Big 4

Just a quick update: Our "Big 4" documents have left the Haitian Consulate and will arrive Monday morning before 10:30. This means we can get things ready to send to Haiti! Praise God. Celebrating each step along the way. Thank you, Lord!

Sober reminder...

From David Platt (http://bhglobalblog.org) via Karen Boggs (http://boggsfamilyadoption.blogspot.com/):

"My goal is certainly not to paint a grim picture of adoption, and many children in foster and/or adoption situations are perfectly healthy. But adoption is not easy, and children are indeed needy. It’s important to realize...that we adopt not because we are rescuers. No, we adopt because we are the rescued. And in this way, the gospel uniquely portrays, compels, and ultimately sustains adoption." -David Platt

Never Alone...

Our journey to discover our "new Donahue" continues. Wow. You know how you don't really understand something until you've actually done it yourself? For instance, you don't really know what it's like to be a mom or dad until you're a mom or dad...then you enter into this "club" of people who empathize with you, and finally you understand the lingo and have sources of support and encouragement.

This is what the adoption process is like. Often I'm asked "how are things going with the adoption?" When I respond, it sounds like I'm speaking a foreign language, and it's hard to explain and hard for the other person to truly understand. The easiest part to explain will be the "we are leaving for Haiti to pick up our child" part. Ultimately, that's what is most important.

However, having a friend or two who have walked this path (or are walking it now) is refreshingly helpful, and a reminder that I'm not alone (or crazy). Empathy is an amazing source of comfort. I know God provides people around us who can empathize and can encourage us when we feel like no one understands, or we're confused or stressed about something in particular.

Last week, Don and I got a lot done in regard to paperwork. Most of the adoption papers have to be notarized, and on top of that, they have to be certified by the county clerk *in* the county where the notary has his/her license (for example, our home study papers were all notarized by a Knox county notary... so we had to mail our documents to Knoxville for certification). After certification, the papers have to be "authenticated" by the Secretary of State...luckily for us, the SofS is right in Nashville.

So, all of our documents are notarized, certified and authenticated. Now, they are being translated into French Creole. Once translated, we'll send them to Miami to the Haitian Consulate for approval. When Miami sends them back, we can send them to Haiti! Whew...

That's only Phase 1, though. Phase 2 is more waiting...a LOT of it from what I understand! Gratefully, there are others who have waited and are waiting...not that I'm glad they're waiting...but I'm grateful that we won't wait alone, and God has placed people in our lives to provide encouragement and reassurance.

Whether you've traveled this same road or not, we would be honored by your prayers of support and footprints in the sand. Our God is so awesome, and He is delighted when He hears the voices of many on behalf of others. Ultimately, all of you are part of our adoption story...so, we adopt together. Thank you for prayerfully remembering us and all of those who travel a similar journey... We are NEVER alone!