"Hurry is not in My Nature..."

Referral Oct 2012

Learning the "art of patience" is not something that has ever come naturally to me. In fact, it will never be an "art" for me. Instead, patience for me is solely an act of faith and dependent on my trust in Jesus.

"Faith is what makes real the things we hope for. It is proof of what we cannot see." (Hebrews 11:1).

Waiting for God's timing throughout our adoption journey has been our greatest challenge; yet, also, our greatest comfort. In the Jesus Calling entry for today, Sarah Young writes the following as though Jesus himself were speaking, "If you want to work with Me, you have to accept my time frame. Hurry is not in my nature." These words ring true, especially in our adoption story.  As much as we may have wanted to hurry things along, our journey has been the opposite of "hurried." Nothing turns over too quickly in the process of an adoption, but we have accepted God's time frame knowing that His plan is perfect...not ours.

While "hurry" may not be in God's nature, it is in His nature to bring glad tidings of great joy... In this wonderful season of rejoicing over the birth of the Christ child, we also rejoice over news that God has given movement to our adoption... there is a light shining and a great hope that we will bring Jordan home in the first months following the new year. We don't have a date, but we hold on to our hope and keep our faith while we wait for the unseen processes to occur and allow our son to come home... it may not be in a hurry but it is sooner now than ever!

     

                             May 2013

June 2013

August 2013

July 2013

We rejoice in the Lord, always. We are humbled and awed and are ever grateful for the love and support of our friends, our family and the strangers who journey with us in this walk of patience and faith.

September 2013

Please continue your prayers as we pray Jordan home... He is coming! Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

October 2013

November 2013

My Hope is Built on Nothing Less...

Nothing has been posted lately because we have had no updates. Haiti is quiet. Our paperwork is somewhere...hopefully being moved to the proper places and not sitting on a desk being overlooked. We have no control over that, though, and while we wait for news, time does not stand still. Life happens...all of it...the good, the bad and everything in between.

What we do with "the bad and the in between," though, is where life happens and growth abounds. Do we bolt the door when heartache knocks or do we answer and ask for help? Do we roll over and close our eyes when dreams crumble or do we stand up and dream anew? Do we shrink in the face of the ugliness of life or do we rise up and see the beauty in the ashes? Do we give up when the air is sucked from our lungs or do we breath longer and deeper? When trouble comes...and it will come...how do we manage?

The following verse from Romans 5:3-5 struck home with me recently. It says, "We are happy with the troubles we have. Why are we happy with troubles? Because we know that the troubles make us patient, and this patience is proof that gives us hope, and this hope will never disappoint us. We know this because God has poured out his love to fill our hearts through the Holy Spirit He gave to us."

The truth in these verses is that troubles teach us patience, and being patient is proof that we are strong. When we are patient, we have Hope, and our Hope will provide in every circumstance. This is hard for me to grasp sometimes. I don't want heartache and pain. I don't want to be patient through it. I want to get it over with. I want to get things done. I want to fix what's broken, smooth over what's uncomfortable and heal what's hurting...quickly.

It's hard to be patient and strong, confident and hopeful amidst the difficulties of life.  Jordan lives as an orphan and waits for us because he has no other choice. He doesn't know why he is waiting. I don't know why he is waiting, but I do know that the Lord is using this time to teach him and mold him...to prepare his heart for home. Jordan is alive and being cared for despite his circumstances. The troubles that this little boy of 3 1/2 has endured and survived is proof that there is Hope, and we are confident that this Hope will bring him home.

At home, we are depending on that same Hope to carry us through while life continues and our patience is tried, our endurance is challenged and our faith is tested. Our hurts and our sorrows are stretching us, growing us, shaping us and preparing us to be a stronger family...stronger individually and stronger as a whole...every single one of us. God is preparing our hearts for Jordan to come home. Preparation takes time, and the time table is not ours to manage. My mother's heart leaps out to each one of my children. I want them close. I want them home. I want them safe. I want them free from harm.

However, I am incapable of providing this kind of safety and surety for my children, for myself, for anyone. We are called to face our troubles, and it's in the brokenness of my life that I have found true Hope and have come to realize that mending takes time, healing takes patience and hard work. There is no quick fix.

My Hope, though, sustains me in every circumstance...in the moments when I turn to God to hold me and even in the moments when I turn away from God because I do not understand and don't want to understand. He's there when I shout at Him for mercy, when I cry out in anger. He's there for me when I am still and quiet. He never leaves me or forsakes me. He loves me in spite of my condition and because I am His.

I want my son...to see his face, to hug him, but I'm clinging to the Divine truth that this pain that I'm feeling will teach me patience in suffering, and that learning to be patient will give me proof of Hope in God, and the promise that His Hope will not disappoint me. He will carry me through.

God, I know that you hear my voice and my cries for mercy. Comfort my son. Do mighty works in him through the name of Jesus. May the power of prayer that is at work on his behalf give him renewed strength and comfort. Have mercy on us, all of your children. In all of our ways, teach us to acknowledge you, so that you will make our paths straight (Prov. 3:6). In this crazy, curvy journey of life, may we lean into you. Our world is full of trials and tribulation, and it always will be, but you, Father, are good all of the time.

As our family's journey continues, apart from Jordan by miles but close to him in heart, I am being taught that a change in circumstances requires a change in perspective. It's usually the dire seasons of life...the ones that hold your hand to the flame...that cause the most significant change...but only if we are willing to yield to the heat and be transformed. Anyone can feel good when life is good. My desire is to rise to the challenge of the painful seasons in my life and allow God to lift up my head when all of my strength is gone because my Hope is built on nothing less...

The Weight of the Wait...

We seem to spend a lot of our life "waiting." Waiting in line. Waiting for an answer. Waiting for success. Waiting for something to pass. Waiting for something to come. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

In fact, I have been waiting to post about our adoption because I haven't had anything to report. No update. No status. No news. Just wait.

I'm sure most of you have heard that it's important not to waste the wait, and I agree. In fact, what we do with our time while we are waiting is significant because waiting can produce growth, learning, patience, understanding and so much more. There are lessons to learn in waiting that shouldn't be overlooked, and we are trying to appreciate the time while we wait.

Frankly, though, I'm just tired of waiting. That's the honest truth. It's okay to be tired of waiting, and I am. Don't get me wrong. I'm not wasting the waiting. Trust me. I have 4 kids at home, a precious husband, a good job, dear friends and life to live. We are living it, loving it and are grateful for it...we just wish Jordan was here with us.

I'm waiting. Don is waiting. Baker is waiting. Brennan is waiting. Cara is waiting. Eliza is waiting. Jordan is WAITING. He's waiting for us. We're waiting for him, and there's nothing we can do to avoid waiting. It's part of adoption...one of the most difficult parts, especially when information comes slowly, processes are inconsistent and time frames are unpredictable. We signed up for this...because at the end of the day it's worth it.

Today I just wanted you to know that we continue to wait. There's no more information to pass along. We don't know how much longer until we get to bring Jordan home. We have no timeframe. No indication.

However, we do not wait without hope...ever! Our prayer is that Jordan will be home before Christmas. Nothing is impossible with God. In fact, EVERYTHING is possible with Him who has called us according to His purposes.

As we wait, please pray for our family when you think of us. Pray for the hundreds of families and thousands of children who wait for each other. Pray for a massive movement of paperwork that will usher thousands home. Pray our babies home. Pray for us as we wait.

A Mother's Love...

Monday morning at 7:30 the birth mother of our sweet Jordan will be interviewed by
the US Embassy in Haiti. Jordan will be there too. This is part of the process and necessary to move the adoption process to the next step.

Two years ago this month, Jordan's mother decided that she could no longer care for her baby boy. She made the ultimate sacrifice of love and brought her 18 month old son to a créche where she knew he would be fed, loved, cared for and adopted by a family who could provide for her son in a way that she could not and, perhaps, would never be able to. In order to take care of her son, she had to give him away.

In June, she gave up her son again. She attended Haitian court and gave her verbal and written legal agreement to give Jordan up for adoption. Don and I met her just a few short hours after she did this. Meeting Jordan's mother wasn't easy...not for her, not for me, not for Don. We could see the emotion and pain surging in her eyes and watched as she gestured to keep the tears at bay. I could not imagine what she was giving up...how could she do it? Only because of her tremendous love for her baby boy and what was best for him.

A third painful surrender for this brave mother will happen again on Monday...only she will be seeing her baby again, gazing at the one that she is relinquishing her legal rights to claim. How will she do this? I don't know, but I do know that she is strong, and that her love for Jordan is great enough to give him up so that he can thrive.

While she gives up the physical presence of her son and turns his care over to Don and me, she does not give up the great love that she has for him, and the choice that she has made comes out of that deep well of love within her heart.

Haitian men and women are strong. They have been cut from a "cloth" of strength that I cannot fathom. Theirs is a culture of survival, and often in such circumstances, the only way to ensure the survival of the one that you love, is to give him or her away.

My Father did the same for me. He gave up His only son so that I could survive...me, you, all of us. Why? Because there was no other way. Not one of us could bear the weight of sin, struggle, heartache and pain thrust upon us in this broken world...not without His Love, not without His sacrifice. Such a Love as this is beyond compare, beyond understanding.

In a similar vein, Jordan's mother is giving him up so that he can survive. I am humbled by her selflessness. I am overwhelmed by the blessing to stand in the gap for Jordan's biological mother...to love our little boy with all of my heart, to care for his every need when she could not.

Please pray for Jordan's biological mother...on Monday, on any day that she comes to mind...remember her and ask God to give her continued strength. Pray for Jordan on Monday as he sees his mother. I don't know if he will remember her, but it will be an emotional time for both mother and son.

The business of a "birth parent" interview is not easy. The emotion of it can be excruciating. It is, however, part of the process, and must take place so the next step can happen.

Thank you, Marie, for your love for Jordan and for your sacrifice. I promise to love him with everything that I am.

"Yes, God loved the world so much that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him would not be lost but would have eternal life." John 3:16

"Take Heart! I have overcome the world!"...

My heart is wrenched with emotions that are both terrifically beautiful and terrifyingly painful. I've said it before myself and others have said it as well...in this life, joy cannot exist without sorrow; healing cannot occur apart from pain...but Love's promise is true... the weeping may last for the nighttime but joy will come in the morning.

We are holding tightly to the promise...without it, we could have never left our son in Haiti. Our confidence is in the Lord and His ability to accomplish all that He has set out to do...all for His glory. We stand firm on the foundation that what He has begun, He will complete.

Meeting Jordan for the first time was indescribable...seeing in person the child I only know in pictures, picking up my baby boy I have never held, touching the soft brown skin of his face, gazing into his big chocolate eyes, kissing his little head, holding him tightly while he held me for dear life...He gripping me in confusion...me grasping him with love that I have been holding inside for so long...all exploding --- all three of us in tears.

There is no easy way to separate a child from what he or she knows to be true, consistent and predictable. Jordan did not know us...not really. He has photos of us and his nanny has told him about us, but to him I was not his mama; Don was not his papa...at least not on that first meeting, not to him.

I have birthed four children. I have known each one since the day he or she was born. I have counted their toes and fingers. I have held them, rocked them, nursed them, fed them, loved them. I know their personalities. I know their likes and dislikes. I know that they love me. They know that I am their mommy...it's easy to start from the beginning because it's the only place to start.

While our beginning with Jordan did not start on the day that he was born, our beginning started on June 11, 2013...at three years old. How do you start from the beginning at 3? You just do, and we did...our lives and family history-- changed forever.

Haiti is now part of our heritage...part of what our family picture looks like...part of our story, our tapestry so intricately and delicately woven. Our beginning began with success...in the details of process and in the filling of our hearts.

While in Haiti we were able to attend all three courts that we needed to go to. In one day, between the hours of 6:00am-1:00pm, we traveled from the guest house where we stayed (an hour drive down horrendous "roads"...no stop signs, no rules...just horns beeping with meaning---meaning nothing to us but "hold on tight!") to the US Embassy and filed our

paperwork (here we waited two hours to be called, were sworn in behind a "teller window" in a row of 30 windows just like it and interviewed), met Jordan's birth mother (unexpected timing, heartbreaking--each of us mothers holding back our tears---unable to communicate--each giving the other an invaluable gift), attended Haitian lower court (a trailer filled with a hundred people...two signatures on a legal pad, a handshake and a "merci") and Haitian upper court (I had to borrow closed toed shoes because my sandals were not dressy enough...we never saw a judge but handed over our passports...they were returned to us...we were done) and returned to the guest house to enjoy the rest of our time with Jordan. God accomplished so much for us that day, and we felt covered in prayer.

Our few days with Jordan were wonderful. He ate every meal with us, slept in a bed in our room, and I got to be his mother. He wouldn't let me put him down. He was unsure about Don, but there was an obvious delight in his eyes over him and a desire for approval. We learned to communicate...enough to get by anyway...enough to smile, laugh, giggle, play and love...enough to know that he is ours by the grace of God...enough to know we didn't want to leave him.

From top to bottom, inside and out, through and through, I know that I am Jordan's mama and that Don is his papa. The bond of love when you see your child for the first time...whether it be at birth or at 3 years old is undeniable, and when the love begins, you are vulnerable to the sorrow...it's inevitable, inescapable.

Leaving our baby boy broke my heart...my heart filled with love over my precious son was torn open to the heartache of goodbye. It would be too much to bear if I didn't know that I will see him again. I will, and when I do, I will bring him home...we will bring him home.

The hundred-million dollar question is "when?" The answer is "I don't know." My prayer is that it will be sooner rather than later..."what does that mean?" We all want a time-frame, an answer, a "due date." The answer is still, "I don't know." It's gut-wrenching to not know; however, our prayer is that he would come home by Christmas...optimistic? "perhaps"...possible? "yes" Anything is possible with God...ANYTHING!

Please pray with us. Pray that our process will speed right along. Pray that Jordan will come home by Christmas. Pray. Pray. Pray. Tell others to pray. If you know someone who knows someone, tell that person to pray...and to act if there are open doors, and pray some more.

The journey home is long, arduous, wrought with sorrow and pain...but the joy far outweighs the heartache, and Love reigns...Love wins because Love is the foundation, and it will not be shaken.  Jesus said, "In this world you will have trouble, but take heart. I have OVERCOME the world!" (John 16:33).


So much happened on our trip...of course there are many more details and stories to tell...what happened in our hearts, though, confirms that "We Are On Our Way," and with confidence we will stay the course and bring our baby home...to God be the glory. He does GREAT things!

Going to Meet our Son!

We are so excited and blessed to have crossed the first major hurdle in the Haitian adoption process. We have been waiting 8 months to move to this particular stage. While we have many more stages to go before we can bring our son home, we do get to go meet him soon!

The next step of our process is to fly to Haiti and go to the US Embassy as well as Haitian court. At the embassy, we will file to "classify an orphan as an immediate relative." In Haitian court, we will sign some documents and make necessary filings.

Please pray for Don and me as we travel to Haiti. Pray for our son...that his little heart would be open to receiving us, to loving us, to wanting to be with us. This will be a HUGE step for all of us. We don't know what to expect. Everyone has a different experience. We know that God will provide for us.

While we cannot wait to meet Jordan, we also are aware that we will have to tell him goodbye. He will not be able to come home with us. There is no way around this. It's part of the process. Please pray that Jordan will not suffer abandonment, that his heart will be protected and that God will provide him with a sense of knowing that we are coming back to get him. At age 3, this will be hard for him to understand...actually, at any age, it's hard to understand being left.

We as adults hardly understand why the process has to take so long. Children, however...cannot possibly understand government red tape, process, delays, etc. Please pray for a sense of peace through the waiting and the unknown.

We WILL bring Jordan home one day. There is no doubt. We don't know how much longer we have to wait. We don't know the day he will come home. There is nothing predictable about the process except that the process is unpredictable and no one's timeline is the same.

However, we DO KNOW that God is in control, and that He will bring be with us every step of the way. He has begun this good work, and He will see it through. He will calm our anxious hearts and never leave us or forsake us. Without His promises, we could never have embarked on this journey or continued to stay the course.

Thank you for joining us and for continuing to pray for us and support us. You are the hands and feet of Christ, and we feel you with us every step of the way...to God be the glory. He is doing GREAT things!

"He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Phil 1:6

"We're On Our Way" Brunch

Please join us for brunch on Sunday, May 19. All proceeds from our brunch will go directly toward Jordan's adoption expenses. If you are unable to come to the brunch, you can still make a donation. See the above flyer for donation information or use the Paypal Donation link on this blog site. We are so excited for this opportunity and are very appreciative of your love and support as "We're On Our Way" toward bringing our baby home.

Help Bring Jordan Home...

Dear Friends & Family,

Please join us for a very special brunch on May 19, 2013. Our family, in partnership with 1 Seed Planted, is hosting a brunch at 229 Franklin Rd. in Brentwood (Puffy Muffin). All proceeds will go toward our adoption expenses. Please bring your friends and family and spread the word! Brunch is from 10:30-1:30. The more we have, the closer we will get to our financial goal. Thank you!

"We're On Our Way"

Adoption Fundraising Lunch

BENEFITTING THE DONAHUE FAMILY ADOPTION OF JORDAN

***LIMITED MENU***

Buttermilk Pancakes with Sausage Links

Scrambled Eggs, Biscuit, Potatoes & Sausage Links

Crunchy Chicken Casserole with Green Beans & Homemade Roll Silver Dollar Pancakes (kids)

Chicken Tenders with Fries (kids)

SUGGESTED DONATIONS

$15 for Adults

$5 for Kids’ Menu

Take Out Orders Welcome

Donations are tax deductible and checks can be made to:

Fellowship Bible Church/I Choose You

Cash, credit cards and checks payable to 1 Seed are welcome at the event 

*Please include a note designating funds to Donahue Family*

229 FRANKLIN ROAD, BRENTWOOD, TN

PUFFY MUFFIN 

Shoes to Fill...

On my walk this morning, I was repeatedly reminded, through song, that we are never alone. Sung over me (or in my ears) were words of comfort and reminders of the power of Love...not the love that the world offers, but the Love that only Christ can offer...the kind that always perseveres, is forever patient, never fails, never carries a record of wrongs, always hopes, is always kind. This is an amazing Love. One that I cannot understand but am humbled to receive.

There are times when I feel anxiety ridden, ashamed, fearful, depressed, angry, and in each of these times, and I feel alone. Of course, there are others who walk similar roads; others who share and understand how I feel; dear friends who listen and don't pass judgement...but there are some days when I feel too overwhelmed to accomplish anything...NOT today.

With full force, God reminded me that He is with me in every circumstance. He reminded me that He is GREAT as Carrie Underwood sang "How Great Thou Art" full force through my earbuds (if you haven't seen it, watch below).  

In fact, I am unable to accomplish anything good or healthy without Him. He whispers to me, sings to me, writes to me..."I'm here. You are not alone."

This beautiful, clear-blue skied Friday, I felt God's undeniable presence and felt empowered to tackle challenges set before me...to overcome some shame, mark some things off my list and release some anxiety. I knocked two of these out with one stone...actually with some weed killer, a rake, clippers and woman power.

Before going outside, I started looking for a pair of old shoes good for gardening. I went up to Eliza's room to look in her closet for a pair that I had loaned her. I found them, and I also found something else...not something lost or even something that I was looking for at the moment. What I found was a bag of shoes for my little boy...hand-me-downs from Noah, waiting to be handed to Jordan.

Those shoes looked so empty and lonely sitting there in the bag all piled on top of one another. Also, tucked in Eliza's closet are two bags of clothes from Noah for Jordan...clothes waiting to be worn, shoes waiting to be filled.

Lord, how do I wait for my baby? I have no choice. He has no choice. If we want to be together, we have to wait...BUT...neither of us waits alone because we are NEVER alone...not when we have the Love of Jesus in our hearts. This Love never leaves us. We may choose to overlook it at times, but it's always there...always.

All things are possible with Christ. The good work that He has begun, He will bring to completion. He will heal my anxiety, my anger, my insecurities. He will bring my baby home because He is Love.

Love will bring my baby home. Love will fill his waiting shoes. Love will conquer all. Love will save us. We are never alone because Love endures through every circumstance...because Love NEVER fails.

(Please mark your calendar for our fundraiser to help with our adoption expenses...May 19, in conjunction with 1Seed Planted, we will host a brunch at the Puffy Muffin location in Brentwood. We are so excited and hope that you will come and bring friends...LOTS of friends!!)

Hurry Up and Wait...

Hurry up and wait... the theme for many adoption stories, and a phrase that I have spoken repeatedly... It's really the only response to the question of when Jordan will come home because there is no answer or indicator.

The circumstances of adoption are unpredictable. Every story is different. No timeline is the same, and often it seems there is no method to the madness of waiting. I understand the necessity for paperwork, background checks, fingerprinting, notarization, authentications, etc. The most important thing in adoption is the safety of the child. We want each child to go to a secure, loving, well-screened home.

Guess what, though? All...and I mean ALL...of this paperwork has an expiration date. This is understandable to a certain extent, but most of the paperwork expires before the adoption process is complete...meaning home studies have to be redone, fingerprints have to be retaken (US fingerprints are good for only 18 months after which they are "kicked out" of the system because there is no room for them in the data base...hmm), and papers have to be notarized all over again.

We started our adoption process in August of 2011 and have begun the first steps of updating. Meanwhile Jordan waits. Updates on our process are few and far between, and we wait eagerly for any morsel of good news...from anyone adopting...ANY movement is good whether it's our child or not...but deep down, each of us wants it to be our own process moving along.

I wait with mixed emotions...I understand that there needs to be a process, and a good one, but it's aggravating that the process cannot complete itself before everything expires; I understand that paperwork processing in-country and out-of-country takes time, but it's heart wrenching that paperwork "stands still"(literally sits on desks) while children grow; I understand that good things come to those who wait, but it's painful to know that my child is waiting. He doesn't understand; I understand, and wholeheartedly believe, that God has a plan...a perfect one, but I grieve when hard hearts stall progress, red tape tangles processes and selfishness stands in the way of children going to forever families in a timely manner; I understand that to every season there is a purpose, but the children don't understand. Jordan turns 3 next month. How much can he possibly understand? Whether the child is 3 days, 3 months, 3 years or 13, there is no true, understandable explanation for waiting.

Waiting is part of the human condition. Waiting will always exist on this earth. I often think of Moses and his calling to free the Israelites from slavery in Egypt and lead them to the Promised Land. The children of Israel had to wait while Pharaoh's heart hardened time and again. Plagues tangled the way; destruction and death barricaded their path to freedom. Sin stands in the way of everything that is good. We live in a fallen world, but it is a world that God created to accomplish His purposes, and He will bring to pass the good work that He has begun.

One of His purposes is for us to care for the orphans, defending the cause of the fatherless. I cling to the promise that He will bring to fruition the calling that He has placed on our lives to bring Jordan home. I sit at His feet and beg for His mercy. I pray that He will soften hearts, move paperwork along and bring my child home.

We are blessed that Jordan waits in a creche where he is fed, clothed, nurtured and loved. He has a bed. He has friends. He is taught his ABC's and sings the name of Jesus. He is safe...for now.

I pray for Jordan's little heart and ask God to prepare him for his forever family...to give him a sense of belonging in spite of his circumstances...to allow him to feel an overwhelming love from across the "big blue sky."

Please come to the Father on behalf of Jordan and all of the children who are waiting across the world. Please ask Jesus to melt hard hearts...destroying motives that stand in the way of justice. Beg Him to move paperwork like lightening and release the floodgates...ushering our children home. We need an army, and God has promised that if we ask anything in His name, He will bring it to pass according to His will and plan for our lives.

Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours...I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you...(I will) defend the cause of the fatherless...You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you...And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished...

Mark 11:24, John 14:18, Deuteronomy 10:18, John 15:16, Philippians 1:6