"Take Heart! I have overcome the world!"...

My heart is wrenched with emotions that are both terrifically beautiful and terrifyingly painful. I've said it before myself and others have said it as well...in this life, joy cannot exist without sorrow; healing cannot occur apart from pain...but Love's promise is true... the weeping may last for the nighttime but joy will come in the morning.

We are holding tightly to the promise...without it, we could have never left our son in Haiti. Our confidence is in the Lord and His ability to accomplish all that He has set out to do...all for His glory. We stand firm on the foundation that what He has begun, He will complete.

Meeting Jordan for the first time was indescribable...seeing in person the child I only know in pictures, picking up my baby boy I have never held, touching the soft brown skin of his face, gazing into his big chocolate eyes, kissing his little head, holding him tightly while he held me for dear life...He gripping me in confusion...me grasping him with love that I have been holding inside for so long...all exploding --- all three of us in tears.

There is no easy way to separate a child from what he or she knows to be true, consistent and predictable. Jordan did not know us...not really. He has photos of us and his nanny has told him about us, but to him I was not his mama; Don was not his papa...at least not on that first meeting, not to him.

I have birthed four children. I have known each one since the day he or she was born. I have counted their toes and fingers. I have held them, rocked them, nursed them, fed them, loved them. I know their personalities. I know their likes and dislikes. I know that they love me. They know that I am their mommy...it's easy to start from the beginning because it's the only place to start.

While our beginning with Jordan did not start on the day that he was born, our beginning started on June 11, 2013...at three years old. How do you start from the beginning at 3? You just do, and we did...our lives and family history-- changed forever.

Haiti is now part of our heritage...part of what our family picture looks like...part of our story, our tapestry so intricately and delicately woven. Our beginning began with success...in the details of process and in the filling of our hearts.

While in Haiti we were able to attend all three courts that we needed to go to. In one day, between the hours of 6:00am-1:00pm, we traveled from the guest house where we stayed (an hour drive down horrendous "roads"...no stop signs, no rules...just horns beeping with meaning---meaning nothing to us but "hold on tight!") to the US Embassy and filed our

paperwork (here we waited two hours to be called, were sworn in behind a "teller window" in a row of 30 windows just like it and interviewed), met Jordan's birth mother (unexpected timing, heartbreaking--each of us mothers holding back our tears---unable to communicate--each giving the other an invaluable gift), attended Haitian lower court (a trailer filled with a hundred people...two signatures on a legal pad, a handshake and a "merci") and Haitian upper court (I had to borrow closed toed shoes because my sandals were not dressy enough...we never saw a judge but handed over our passports...they were returned to us...we were done) and returned to the guest house to enjoy the rest of our time with Jordan. God accomplished so much for us that day, and we felt covered in prayer.

Our few days with Jordan were wonderful. He ate every meal with us, slept in a bed in our room, and I got to be his mother. He wouldn't let me put him down. He was unsure about Don, but there was an obvious delight in his eyes over him and a desire for approval. We learned to communicate...enough to get by anyway...enough to smile, laugh, giggle, play and love...enough to know that he is ours by the grace of God...enough to know we didn't want to leave him.

From top to bottom, inside and out, through and through, I know that I am Jordan's mama and that Don is his papa. The bond of love when you see your child for the first time...whether it be at birth or at 3 years old is undeniable, and when the love begins, you are vulnerable to the sorrow...it's inevitable, inescapable.

Leaving our baby boy broke my heart...my heart filled with love over my precious son was torn open to the heartache of goodbye. It would be too much to bear if I didn't know that I will see him again. I will, and when I do, I will bring him home...we will bring him home.

The hundred-million dollar question is "when?" The answer is "I don't know." My prayer is that it will be sooner rather than later..."what does that mean?" We all want a time-frame, an answer, a "due date." The answer is still, "I don't know." It's gut-wrenching to not know; however, our prayer is that he would come home by Christmas...optimistic? "perhaps"...possible? "yes" Anything is possible with God...ANYTHING!

Please pray with us. Pray that our process will speed right along. Pray that Jordan will come home by Christmas. Pray. Pray. Pray. Tell others to pray. If you know someone who knows someone, tell that person to pray...and to act if there are open doors, and pray some more.

The journey home is long, arduous, wrought with sorrow and pain...but the joy far outweighs the heartache, and Love reigns...Love wins because Love is the foundation, and it will not be shaken.  Jesus said, "In this world you will have trouble, but take heart. I have OVERCOME the world!" (John 16:33).


So much happened on our trip...of course there are many more details and stories to tell...what happened in our hearts, though, confirms that "We Are On Our Way," and with confidence we will stay the course and bring our baby home...to God be the glory. He does GREAT things!